I have seen quite a few interesting classified ads online in my day.
If you really want to sell something, sometimes the best way to do that is to make your listing stand out. If you’re lucky, your crazy post can even reach an audience you couldn’t have imagined. What happens if the thing you’re trying to get rid of isn’t exactly an appealing prospect? Well, you could try to hide its flaws. Or, like Denell McCaul, you can be painfully, hilariously honest.
Denell has a lot of animals, and she seems to love them a whole lot.
This includes some chickens, ducks, and one absolutely petulant rooster.
Denell’s rooster is so obnoxious that she’s deemed him an “asshole,” and she has the story to back it up.
She’s so fed up with his loud noises and wily ways that she’s even giving him away for FREE. Here’s what she wrote in her hilarious Facebook post.
FREE to good home. Well, any home really. At this point I don’t give a shit what kind of home this inconsiderate jerk goes to: ASSHOLE ROOSTER. He’s the perfect rooster if your alarm is broken and you need to be awake at 5:30 a.m. That is his only setting, 5:30. He has no snooze button but will be quiet just long enough for you to fall back to sleep and then he’ll start back up with his obnoxious cock-a-doodle-doing right outside of your windows. It’s like he knows where you sleep and can zone in on that particular window so maybe he has some sort of special x-ray vision where he can see sleeping people behind walls. He is also a perfect rooster if you want to start running… around your yard… while you’re trying to get away from him. He no longer goes after me as he is also an instructor of interpretive dance. Or at least that’s what I imagine it looked like as I went after him flapping my arms, jumping up and down, kicking at him, yelling and screaming, and swinging a mop in his direction. So, if you’re looking for an alarm clock with the only setting being 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer and a dance instructor, I have the perfect rooster that is able to fill all 3 of those positions FOR FREE! But you’re coming out to catch this asshole, I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson.
I think I’m gonna have to pass on that early wake-up call, but hopefully all the attention her post is getting will get this rooster to a place where its talents are appreciated.